"How to crush Vivian's hopes" by Vivian

Dear internet people,

My hopes are crushed.
Oh so crushed.
I feel despair.
In my bones.
My hopes are crushed.
So very, very crushed.

Why be-eth my bones so crushed dareth thou ask?
Because nobody commented on my blog and I did not chuckle or give away a ring! Tis why my hopes are crushed.

No chuckles. None. Not from me. No sir E Bob. I am crushed.

Why did you not comment? I see the page views. I know life is humorous. See the humor! Share the humor! Win a ring! So simple, yet nobody comments. That hurts my brains. Yes. I did mean to type brains.
I almost forgot to check and see who won today. I've been so stinking busy. I got on here in hopes of a chuckle or two and a winner to proclaim, but alas no winners there be.

Wow. Apparently when I get sad I wax poetic, dramatic, and eth and thou-ey.

Ok. So now that I have guilted the internet world. . . You wana comment and tell me whether I should try the ring thing again? I feel like I'm talking to a wall. My mother said I should say- Well, at least my mom thinks I'm funny.
But I don't wana sound like a balding 30 year old man who needs a life and a bath.

Thanks for reading. Or not reading. Whatever you're doing out there. I love you. And so does Jesus.
Even though you are not commenting about humorous living.

Squished and poetic,
Vivian's hopes