Tuesday, May 31, 2011

:) Yay for today!

I have 8 followers today! What joy! This makes me so happy I could cry! (I am prone to overreaction. .)
I've been watching the turtleses today. Turtles are not too bright. . My turtle (The one I named) ,Germs, was sitting on a rock all afternoon. All of a sudden I hear a loud *BUMP* in the little "turtle box" and I look in there and my turtle has knocked herself off the rock and fell elly up in the water.
DUM DUM DUH DUM!!! Vivi! Tooo the rescuuuuuueeee!!!!
I left my books in disarray and dashed towards the box with such speed and agility I never imagined I had!! I quickly removed the lid, embraced the turtle with my pointer finger and thumb, lifted her with the strength of 10 ants, and plopped her back into her poop infested water (Time for a refill).
(I just burped for those of you who want a play by play of my time. I rate that one a 5. Not my best work.)
Did you know that a nutria is like a giant rat? They also swim. Facts from Billy the Exterminator. Whenever I add "inator" to the end of exterminator I feel like Doctor Doofenshmirtz. "The non-inator inator!!!"
Gotta love Phineas and Ferb. You should watch that. If you don't already. Which you should.
I hate when I get something sticky on my fingers and I get it all over stuff. My phone for example. It got quite sticky. I feel like a two year old. . Ahh the strange substances I have gotten on my phone the past 2 years I've had it. . Slobber (Which I also got in my ear. Very pleasant.) , Macaroni, prechewed macaroni. . That was a fun one. . Bar-b-que sauce. . Pancake mix. . . Blood (GAG). . . baby poop. .  baby spit up. . Toothpaste. . glue. . . Glitter (Which is indestructible by the way. It cannot be destroyed. Only transferred.)
Yepp, It's been funn! Thank you for being my follower :) You are so great!
Thanks for reading!
Need a tough phone? Pantech Matrix. It can survive ANYTHING.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Today's post

Well, I had an excellent Memorial day and I hope that you did as well!
I'm watching Billy the Exterminator. Great. Show. I just saw an armadillo blowing snot bubbles. It really is a delightful show other than some of the nasty. Billy is quite the character. I adore him.
Well, I have sprained my wrist. So, I thought i'd tell you how I did this. You see, I am in highschool. I graduate in 2 years. I'm gonna need a career or something to major in correct? Correct. Well, I like animals. I usually delight in their presence. I like gorillas. I thought they looked cute. I took an internship at a Gorilla rehab center. For damaged and recooperating gorillas ya know? So, I went to help out for an afternoon. Cuz I wanted to be a gorilla hero when I grow up!! :) So I get there and there's this gorilla with an infected eye. . We were gonna fix him. No biggy right? Well, this gorilla was a BIGGY. He also did not like having his eye messed with. Well, if you can't see where this is going. .  Gorilla got angry and busted the bulletproof glass I was standing behind to observe. All I had to protect myself was a ruberband, a dirty gym sock, and a telephone. Now, me and my quick witted self grabbed the gym sock and the rubberband and created makeshift hand cuffs to cuff this critter. While he lifted me up by the ankle I managed to swing myself onto his shoulders and grab him by the arms. All was well, I had him in the perfect position when the dad gum phone rang and he went even more berzerk! I was launched across the room but used my balancing skills to scale the wall and kick him in the head and knock him out and I managed to escape all that with only a sprained wrist. I don't wana be a hero to any gorilla. . . so that's what happened to my wrist. .  Or maye I just tripped over a bottle of sunscreen. .  But you know. . How likely is a story like that one. Definitely unbelievable. .  Thanks for reading.
Cherish your advil. It's a miracle.

Friday, May 27, 2011

"It stinks so bad in here I can taste it!"

My subject today. . . . . . Stinky teenage boys.
The stench. It's unreal. The words "stink" and "stench" don't even cover it. Especially when they all come in herds. They dash by and it's like a STANK cloud. *FWOOSH* *STANK* it's like an age. . I mean I know older boys can stink, but the younger ones. . . Like 11-14. . . Wow. I cannot fathom how any teacher could teach them at that age. . I WOULD NOT encourage hand raising. . I think at that age they should be confined. . Like a biohazard facility or SOMETHING. They don't not stink for 10 minutes after they get out of the shower. And sometimes even AFTER they shower they smell like wet dog. . How in the world did us girls see through the stink to find any of them cute when we were that age?!? I just. . wow. Oh the stink. And I'm trapped here with two if them today. They went to a three hour work out and have been outside playing basketball ever since except the point where they cam in to eat and they come in and get a drink every now and again. I have the unfortunate pleasure of being right in the path as the dash through. *FWOOSH* "Hey Vee!" *COUGH GAG CHOKE* "Bye! Please leave!"
I mean I know girls can stink. Really. I do. But I think the difference is girls know when they stink and they fix it. These boys are not aware. For example, One of them just walked in and said "I do not stink!" And earlier they said they couldn't smell a thing.. We could definitely smell something. Something worse than dead critter stank.
I wish I were as immune to their stink as they are. It's not like they don't wear deodorant. I've been there when they put it one! They use spray and the stick. It smells so strong you get a headache, but if they move continuously or in any brisk manner *BOOM* It's worse than the stink bomb my genius brother set IN HIS OWN BEDROOM one time. I mean stink bombs stink, but it's a totally different stink than the stink of boy. And when they take their shoes off. . . RUN. Well, I opened up the door. Things are airing out. I can't taste the stink so much any more. Showers WILL be taken in the very very near future. Thank goodness for air freshener.
Thank you for reading. Be safe. Don't sniff teen boys.
Til next time (If I survive)
Vivian, The girl who lives in the zoo. .

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Hello wonderful people!

I haven't been on here for a while. Hope you haven't missed me to much. .  :)
We got turtles to keep for the summer. They are so cute. There's a boy and a girl. In that little cage. . All alone. Someone suggested the possibilities of something happening. . . So I made this face. .

Pretty cute huh? . . . No. Not really. Anyways. I made this face and then I made up this little song to the tune of the Barney "I love you" song or "This old man" Whichever you prefer.

So, here goes.
I Love turtles
Turtles are great,
But I hope they do not mate. .
Cuuuz if they doo I juust Miight Faaaaaint
That's why I hope the turtles don't mate!

I've always wanted turtles. . My back up plan for if I never get married used to be that I would have aturtle farm. . Now I just wana be the turtle lady if I must go unmarried. Cuz I don't really like cats enough to become the cat lady. . They scare me. I can't live in fear. Now, Who wants to see the turtles!!!???

 This is the boy. Germs. I named him!! Isn't he just precious?!
 The one on the right is the girl. Squirt! She's so cute!
Turtles!!!!! Don't ya just love em?! They are so great!

Here's some quotes from yesterday. .

So the kids were watching the weather and you know how there's all the colors for the storms on TV? Well Brent was looking at those and then he went to look out the window where it was storming and kinda turning greenish yellow and he says,"We must be in the yellow spot like on TV!"

 I tripped over a box and hit my toe and it hurt and I was breathing really loud and dad shouts from the other room and says,"Who's giving birth??"
Thanks Dad.

 So I tripped and fell and was in the floor hurting and couldn't get up. My brothers come and look at me. Chad says,"Vivian's hurt. Hahahahahahah!"
Miranda comes running in and says,"Don't stand there! Do something!" And then she just stands and stares at me. So helpful.

 We're in my room and Miranda is reading one of my notebooks and she says,"Wow. You write a lot."
Me- "It's not that much once you get used to it. .  But you may not become as big of a writer as me. ."
Miranda- "Yeah. .  I won't become as big a tripper as you either."

The support I get in this house is great. Really. That's all I've got today!
Until next time,

Monday, May 9, 2011

Post Mothers' day give away! Yes, I am aware I'm late.

It's been quite a while since I posted on here.
We got my mom a dishwasher for mothers' day. It was a suprise so we had to get her out of the house so I got her out shopping for groceries and a movie. She was not in the grandest of moods. We were driving around in the hotmobile. (AKA the van with windows that don't roll down and no air conditioning.) So once we got done at the grocery store I texted my dad to ask him if getting a movie was long enough time for him to get the dishwasher installed. He said to take her time. OK. All is well. Until mom decides she wants to go home to put the groceries away and look to see where a redbox is. In my feeble attempt to keep her from going home I ask her,"Why didn't you do that earlier?"

Don't ever do that.

I thought she was going to kill me. So we went home. We were home for about 15 minutes and she didn't notice it. So we left to get the movie. When we come back we start preparing for supper. She still doesn't notice. But she doesn't normally inspect the dishwasher either. Finally my dad asks," Honey, could you look in the dishwasher for my ig spatula?" Mom says,"Which spatula?" Dad says,". . . the big one." Mom sighs. Turns around grabs the dishwasher handle and says,"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Yes she was suprised. Although she would normally yell at the dishwasher. . She usually yells at it or fusses at it when se uses it. . Like when the wheel falls off or it doesn't actually clean the dishes like dishwashers are supposed to or the shelf gets stuck.. But that will happen no longer. We have a wonderful WORKING dishwasher now. She loves it.

I believe she had a wonderful mohers' day! Thank you mommy for being such a wonderful mommy! You deserved the dishwasher. I think every day should be mommy's day.Haha yepp.

Mothers' day quote- "Stop making the cow poop in the car!"

So now in honor of mothers' day I am doing a post-Mothers' day giveaway because I didn't have time to do anything before. My bad. . Anyways here's how you can win something or your mom or if you are a mom you can win something for yourself! All you have to do is post your favorite flower or your mommy's favorite flower and be the first to post it on here and you can win a bracelet or keychain for your mom!
This offer ends Wednesday may 11. At 11:00 am.
Ready? Set? Go!