Thursday, December 30, 2010

"How to crush Vivian's hopes" by Vivian

Dear internet people,

My hopes are crushed.
Oh so crushed.
I feel despair.
In my bones.
My hopes are crushed.
So very, very crushed.

Why be-eth my bones so crushed dareth thou ask?
Because nobody commented on my blog and I did not chuckle or give away a ring! Tis why my hopes are crushed.

No chuckles. None. Not from me. No sir E Bob. I am crushed.

Why did you not comment? I see the page views. I know life is humorous. See the humor! Share the humor! Win a ring! So simple, yet nobody comments. That hurts my brains. Yes. I did mean to type brains.
I almost forgot to check and see who won today. I've been so stinking busy. I got on here in hopes of a chuckle or two and a winner to proclaim, but alas no winners there be.

Wow. Apparently when I get sad I wax poetic, dramatic, and eth and thou-ey.

Ok. So now that I have guilted the internet world. . . You wana comment and tell me whether I should try the ring thing again? I feel like I'm talking to a wall. My mother said I should say- Well, at least my mom thinks I'm funny.
But I don't wana sound like a balding 30 year old man who needs a life and a bath.

Thanks for reading. Or not reading. Whatever you're doing out there. I love you. And so does Jesus.
Even though you are not commenting about humorous living.

Squished and poetic,
Vivian's hopes

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Giveaway!!

I just had a dance party in the kitchen with my Mommy. We so fly!
I think we frightened the small children actually. .

My mom's friend was over today and she went to hug Miranda and they both got shocked and she shouts, "Ow! That made the boogies fly out my nose!"

 I wasn't really sure what to do with that. So, I blogged.

Brent was playing with a bicycle pump and was blowing air into his face the other day and he says, "Wow. They must put a lot of air into these things when they make them!"
Aw. Brent. Poor child. He was dropped on his head as a baby.

So, I bet you're wondering about the giveaway. Lemme 'splain.
I will make you a ring similar to this. .
                               This. .
                                        Or this. .
   If you leave me a chuckle worthy comment and I draw your name on December 30th.

Thanks for reading! Good luck!

Monday, December 27, 2010

We shall scatter in subjects!

Hi, I'm going insane today. Come on! Join me! It's fun. Really.
I feel so loopy it's insane. My mom says it's because I'm a teenager. I think that's her excuse for everything.
"Why did the elephant escape from the zoo and pee on our house?"
"Because you're a teenager."
Makes perfect sense right?

So, I've been working on Christmas presents like a mad woman. I'm still not quite finished. 74 gingerbread cookies lie ahead of me in my future. Good thing I like to cook. Haha. AND I got a rolling pin for Christmas so I won't go crazy and want to shoot things when I can't flatten the dough. No worries. My parents won't let me use a real gun and further more I don't have a desire to shoot a real gun. I like nerf. You know, they actually have new nerf guns that have hard plastic on the end and actually hurt when they hit you now. My brothers got them for Christmas. I've been hit in the head so many times that I've lost count, already. I'm definitely gonna have to retaliate.

My mother just informed Chad that his devil horns are devil-ey.
Referring to his haircut of course.

That's better than earlier. She was cutting Brent's hair . .
Brent- Hair in my face! Hair in my mouth! Get it out!!!
Mom- Stop breathing!!
Yes, mom. Perfectly rational.

 I've also been making bracelets and bracelets and rings as Christmas presents. I am considering selling them. I just don't know what price range to go for. .

                                 Best pals!
                                  That was for my best friend!
                                  Kaitlyn's bracelet!
                          I think these might sell really well at my brother's basketball games.
                                   For my dearest cousin, Emma!
                                    Katie's bracelet!
                                   My sister's ring. M for Miranda. Or Moo. Ahh yes. Nicknames. Haha
                             Rainbow ring!
                                 Black ring.

                                            Butt freckle. For giggle benefits of course.

 We watched Eragon last night. You know what I decided? I want a dragon. A blue one. Because dragon's are cool.

Love story of the day!
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

How romantic!

How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
Open the door. Put him in. Close the door.
How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
Open the door. Take out the giraffe. Put the elephant in. Close the door.

Lame. Yeah. I know. I'd heard that one before too.

How about this?

The lion, the king of the jungle, throws a party. Everyone in the jungle comes except one animal. Which animal didn't come?

 Do you have the right answer? I do! If you know it and are first to comment and get it right you win! What might you win you ask?
. . . . . Bragging rights I suppose. . Haha
Ready? Set? Go.

 Thanks for reading!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Long time, no blogging

Sorry, I have not blogged lately. Well, if you like my blogs I'm sorry. If not, I apologize for blogging so soon. Haha.

 Ok. So I just sat here for two minutes because my train of thought got derailed, but I'm pretty sure I was gonna say something about Christmas and cookies.

Do you facebook stalk? If you don't, you should. It's a great hobby! Really. Here's some quotes from stalking people with my friend. This is also the reason you should never take breathing treatments right before bedtime. They hype you up.

 * While looking it at incredibly attractive guy *
-Now that's magically delicious!! Is it bad that I want to take this picture and keep it forever?!
 . . . Dude. . . If my mom sees this I am totally asking for him for Christmas!

*While looking at cute guy*
- Vivian, I want him for Christmas! No! Wait. I want the other one! (Speaking of Mr. Incrediblyattractiveguy up there.)

*While looking at incredibly attractive guy*
- Ahhh! You're so pretty! I wish I could be on skype with you! I would be like, 'Hi, why are you in the bathroom? I like the sign behind you. . It matches your beautiful eyes. . . Did I mention you're pretty?!

* at end of cute guy stalking time *
-Thank you for guy shopping with me!!

1-I'm sorry. I just  tooted. Can you smell it?!
2- Bahahahahahahahah!!
1-I'm waiting for you to poot! You never poot. You should poot some time.
*later on*
2-Oops! There's that poot you wanted!
1-Yay! You pooted!

For some reason these people didn't want their names revealed. . Hmm. Shocker.

Definition of pantnapping- The action of stealing another being's britches.

-Well I went pantnapping. . I have decided that you can't pantnap boys. Boys don't have butts.
- I need to get some more money so that you can go pantpurchasing instead of pantnapping.

Lesson of the week- Never let your brother borrow your pants.

This came about because I pantnapped my brother. I claimed his sweatpants as mine because he said they were ugly. They weren't ugly. And I like sweatpants. Therefore, I now owned these pants. Well, the silly boy lost his sweatpants so he borrowed mine for basketball practice. Then, they went missing. I could not find these pants for the life of me. We hunted and hunted and could not find them. Come Christmas morning we are opening presents and I open mine from him. Lo and behold! My pants!!! They were still dirty, because he apparently found them in his closet the night before, but they were my pants none the less. I was super happy. I missed my pants. He's never borrowing them again.
Pictures of the pant reunion to come. . .

-Ahhh! It's not working! I have a malfunctioning woman's apple!

- Isn't it cool how people make fake grass and they can never make it match real grass because no one can comepare with God;s creation?!

*Painting*

-Ahhhh! It's mustard grass! I added yellow, but it shouldn't make it do that!! Stupid mustard grass!! I keep adding green and it just looks worse! It's not supposed to do that, because grass is green!

- My feet smell weird! You wana sniff 'em?!
- Umm. .  Lemme think. . No.

- Where did your heart go missin'?! I know you had it the other day.

-That's my threat!
-Your face is a threat!

Only some 'your face' jokes can be funny. And only occasionally. This does not make those jokes cool in any way.

- Wow! That was an evil kind of burp!!

My sister lost her glasses at our friends'  house and my brother ( I just typed brother as bother. That fits way better.) found them in a cabinet. . .
1- Why were they in the cabinet?
2-She got hot so she--
1- Took her glasses off? Oh! That helps!
*imitates taking glasses off and wipes forhead*
1-Whoo! Much better!

Listen to Man of the Hour by Nora Jones. Super cute. Hahah Link!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_YvaM9EkH0

Selena Gomez- The things I never wana be I owe to you.
Gotta love it.

Hope you had a Merry Christmas! Thank you for reading my senseless babbling and insanity :)
God bless! TTFN!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Let's learn spanish!

The La Cucaracha. Aka The cockroach.

 Let's translate!

Here's one version. It's supposed to be pre-revolution lyrics.


La cucaracha, la cucaracha, The cockroach, the cockroach,
ya no puede caminar can't walk anymore
porque no tiene, porque le falta                 because it doesn't have, because it's lacking
las dos patitas de atrás. its two back feet.    




De las patillas de un moro                              From the sideburns of a Moor
tengo que hacer una escoba,                    I must make a broom,
para barrer el cuartel                        to sweep the quarters
la infantería española.                    of the Spanish infantry. 
  








   
Revolution lyrics-

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, The cockroach, the cockroach,
ya no puede caminar can't walk anymore
porque no tiene, porque le falta             because it doesn't have, because it's lacking
marihuana pa' fumar. marijuana to smoke.
   
Ya murió la cucaracha The cockroach just died
ya la llevan a enterrar now they take her to be buried
entre cuatro zopilotes among four buzzards
y un ratón de sacristán. and a mouse as the sexton. 



Ya se van los carrancistas, And the Carrancistas,
ya se van haciendo bola, are on full retreat,
ya los chacales huertistas             and the Huertistan jackals
se los trayen de la cola.                   will catch and imprison them. 



 
Oigan con gusto estos versos            Hear with pleasure these verses,
escuchen con atención, listen carefully:
ya la pobre cucaracha now the poor cockroach
no consigue ni un tostón.   doesn't even get a tostón.  

The dish is made from sliced green (unripe) plantains which are cut either length-wise or width-wise and are twice fried.

odo se ha puesto muy caro                  Everything has been very expensive
con esta Revolución, in this Revolution,
venden la leche por onzas selling milk by the ounce
y por gramos el carbón.       and coal by the gram.



Cuando uno quiere a una        When a man loves a woman
y esta una no lo quiere,but she doesn't love him back,
es lo mismo como si un calvoit's like a bald man
en calle encuentra un peine.           finding a comb in the street.



Mi vecina de enfrente My neighbor across the street
se llamaba Doña Clara, used to call herself Doña Clara,
y si no hubiera muerto and if she hadn't died
así se llamaría. that's what she would call herself. 



 Kids are singing this stuff in Elementary school? Yikes. Lol Some of these are scary and some are funny. Haha. Thanks for reading!


 











                                                    
      

Thursday, December 9, 2010

More glue

So, After my last post I promptly went to use the superglue. My parents were hesitant to let me use it again this  year, because last year I got my toe glued to my sock. .

Very fun. Yes indeed.

This year I was way more careful. I glued an angel's head on. All went well.
Next came the wiseman. All was well until I got my finger glued to his insides.
Having superglue on your finger is like having dry  crusty boogers on your hand, but stickier.
Then, I tried to put a ribbon on a candy cane. Needless to say I almost had a ribbon stuck to my finger for the rest of  forever.
Then, I tried to glue a nutcracker's beard back on. I had beard stuck to my finger. When I tried to pull it off it was like pulling hair out of your head. So, I had a bearded finger. I had to shave it.
Lol.
Maybe I'll do better next time.
I have something for you to  google.
Buttfreckle. I can't explain. Look at pictures and read on it lol.
If you haven't giggled today this famous booty dot ought to do it. lol

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Why you don't let me use the spray glue

So, on Monday nights I babysit at my church and I try to have a craft every week.
Last Monday we made wreaths. We were going to spray them with the spray glue and then put glitter on them.
So I spray the glue several times in a row and all was well. Then I tried to take my finger off the nozzle. . . Uh-oh. It's stuck. *insert semi-frantic pulling here*  I got it off my finger. . or so I thought. I looked at my finger and the nozzle had popped off and was still glued to my finger. So, I pulled it off only to get it stuck to another finger. I tried again and it came off. . . . But my fingers got glued together. So, I tried to unstick my thumb from my pointer only to get my other pointer stuck to the same thumb. I finally managed to get completely unglued. I went to put the nozzle back on the glue. Bad choice. I held the side in hopes that I wouldn't get stuck, but instead of not sticking I ended up with , not one, but two fingers glued to the nozzle. So, I finally managed to unglue everything and got done with only two sore fingers. Oh, and throughout all this one of the little boys is pouring pounds of glitter everywhere.

I needed to use the glue again this Monday. I was way more careful and all went well until I had to walk to another room and went to move my hand and find that my thumb was glued to my pants. . I stopped and yanked it off and it had blue jean fuzzies all over it.

I need to use that glue next week too. Maybe I can make it through with out getting glued to a wall.

I have some quote from this weekend that I think are entertaining.


- I think your boney-ness is attractive!

- Don't say anything nice if you can't say anything at all!

- Oh, if only you could hear through your nose!
- You could if your ears were there!
- Umm. . Jacob. . Ears aren't there. That's why I said that.
- But still. If ears were there you could hear.
- Nevermind. .

- What do best friends do together?
- Shave warts and blow hairs into the toilet!
Lol. Twisted friendship. Hahaha

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Hamsters and cavemen

I realized that hamster wheels are not actually fun for hamsters. They are a method of torture. They aren't funness that encourages exercise! The hamster actually thinks it can climb up it and is totally baffled when it can't get up there. The hamster is thinking- I will climb! I will climb out! And the humans are like- Oh look at the cute hamster having so much fun! And the hamster is like- *GASPING* Need more oxygen. .  Must climb! Why isn't this thing working?! And humans are like- Oh! I am glad the hamster is enjoying the new "toy" I got him! Doesn't he look happy?!
No you silly human. Your hamster is wondering why his climbing wall is not climbing properly and you have hoaxed your dear hamster. That is why hamster wheels are torture.
And to think. This whole thought process came along because we rodent-sat the obese hamster over Thanksgiving.

Anyways. So, my mom and I were talking and a thought came across. We were joking about caveman dating. You know, where they whack the woman over the head and drag 'em in the cave? Yeah, that one. Anyway, we started to wonder if  there was any caveman dating etiquette and so we searched it and decided that I should share some of these humorous caveman "etiquette" rules.

* Avoid perfume. You want him to think of you as a potential girlfriend. Not a meal.

* Expect you date to order a steak or something. It will probably be cooked very rare or very burnt depending on how far he has evolved.

* Don't try to change your caveman; instead learn to embrace his inner sensitivity while ignoring his outward behavior.
 
* Expect to be running most of the conversation, Cavemen are known for being quiet except for the occasional grunt. ( I think this one could go for men other than the cave ones. Haha.)
 
So, if you ever wana know how to date a caveman. . Google it. Hahaha
Thanks for reading!



Friday, November 26, 2010

Chad, stop screeching like a little girl!

Good evening! Turkey violations anyone? I promised pictures so here goes!
 Turkey. Pre violation. Still clothed.
 Nervously awaiting the time of violation. Feeling slightly nauseated.
 Gooey. EW. I really didn't wana touch that. This is all for you, readers. I truly hope someone is reading this.
Dad- Just dig right on in there and scoop those guts out! Me- Ahhhh!!
 Me- I think I might puke. Dad- Not on the turkey!
 DEEP breathing. . .
Me- I have to flip this thing over?! Dad- And then pull the guts out of where the neck used to be! Me- I think I need to sit down. .
 What person in their right mind says," Hey! I think I'll make a tradition where we freeze turkey guts in a bag so people get to enjoy pulling them out!" ? Really?!
 Bag of innards coming through. . . seeing stars. .  Ugh. . I don't enjoy this reminiscing. .
 Turkey fresh out of the oven!
 The popper popped! That indicates that the turkey is done! How nifty!
 Before being served.
The turkey got great reviews! My 87 year old grandmother said it's the best turkey she ever tasted. That must mean something. . Haha or just grandmother's pride?
 Uncle Bubby's art! Haha he was extremely excited to have his bubble letters blogged! Haha he's so cute.
I drew the alligator. Without teeth. This is why I am not the artist. However, if you are interested pattyville has a few pieces of her art posted and it's grand!
 My Christmas list. Wonderfully decorated I think. Springy of course. I'm not too fond of the coldness. . Haha
The new addition to my list! Haha. The HUNK is a pillow. Not Daniel Radcliffe, sadly. Haha. Oh well, a girl can dream. lol

I have some funny quotes as well!

My Uncle Dave trying to serve my Granny:
Uncle Dave- No, I got it Ma.
Granny- No, I've got it Dave! I'm the mother!

Miranda and I had a sleepover again:
Miranda- Why do you want to know?
Me- Because I'm curious. . But, curiosity did kill the cat you know.
Miranda- *GASP. Look of utter astonishment* I didn't know he had a cat!!!!

Thanks for reading. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Supposedly chubby cheeks and feeling feet. Dedicated to Taylor :)

So, I have some quotes that I thought were quite funny. Hope you enjoy!

So, my mom got some new shoes that are blue and the look like those little holographic pictures that change so they kind change as she moves. Everyone at church was absolutely fascinated with them. One of my friends asked to feel them and so everyone was feeling my mother's shoes including this other man at our church and so he's feeling her shoes and he says," I feel so wrong feeling the foot of another man's wife!"
It was soo funny!

So, my sister was sleeping over in my room and we had just cut off the lights. It's totally silent and then. . .
Miranda- I have fat cheeks. . .
Me- You do not! There is nothing fat about you.
Miranda- Yes they are. They are so fat that when I run the go uh luh uh luh uh luh *Insert her using her hand to make her cheeks move up and down*
Me-Whatever. . . . You just have to grow into your face. Yeah. . That's it. . . . That sounded so stupid.
Miranda- Are you saying I have a baby face?!
Me- Uh. Yeah. I guess I am.
Miranda- Wahhhh. .
Me- But everyone does!
Miranda- Not you! You have a pretty normal face!
*She reaches over groping my face and then pats it as if that proves that it's normal.*
I cracked up!
Me- I am so blogging this.
Miranda- If everyone starts calling me chubby cheeks I am blaming you.
Me- Ok Chubby cheeks. Just kidding! You do not have chubby cheeks! By the way. I take this as permission to blog.

I do have her consent to blog.

A few minutes later I asked her a question she won't answer and she gives me the silent treatment.

Me- If you don't talk to me i am going to punch you in the chubby cheeks across the room and cheeks will be flying everywhere.
*bust out in laughter therefore breaking silent treatment*
Miranda- You just made my nose explode!
Me- With chubby cheeks?

Ohhh the things that happen when sisters have sleep overs lol

My mom let her ear piercings grow up. Only one grew up.
Mom- I wish I could wear earrings. I could always go for the pirate look.
Me- Bahahahahahahahaha! No.

 This is my mommy. Isn't she cute? And non- Piratey? Therefore we decided no on the pirate look.

Turkey cooking tomorrow. Pictures to come. Haha
Thanks for reading!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Thanksgiving! It's coming!

Thanksgiving is coming! I am psyched. I am going to cook the turkey. I had to fight my dad for it. I am kinda scared. I have a fear of turkey, neck, raw things, livers and hearts in a bag, and anything gory. But I am gonna do it. It weighs 20 lbs. 20 stinkin lbs. If it weren't dead I would be scared it might eat me. Don't tell my dad.

I have a friend, Rachel, that wrote a poem. It's fantastic. Like super. She wants me to put it on facebook. So, along with that I will put it here.

Hearts are like butterflies,
so breakable.
Just one word can send it away,
flying out of your grasp.

Isn't it cute?!

Did you know that if you put a snail on a plate and put pine needles (Their favorite food) in the middle they will go around and around the edge of the plate until they starve? Yeah, not too bright. And people call dumb people bird brain.. . . Birds are smart. Snails are stupid. From now on I will call not too bright people snail brain. They will be stunned. Stunned I say.

We are having pajama night with the little kids Monday. AKA tomorrow. I am stoked! and we are going to make little turkey hand prints and turn them into place mats!

Have you ever seen Nightmare Before Christmas? You should. It's hilarious. If you pay attention to details you will be cracked up. Like humpty dumpty  I say.

Thank you for reading! Jesus loves you! Have a great day!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Spider kids, hanging pants, and head biting

So, we are driving out of our cove and we see a lady walking her dog. Ahead of her are 2 kids. One dressed as good spiderman and the other dressed as evil spiderman. They are both running and flailing about doing what I suppose are "supercool" moves and next thing I know evil spiderman falls dead on the sidewalk and good spiderman is jumping up and down because he defeated the evil. Hahahahaha! These children are my heroes. Not just because of their costumes.

Mom- Chad, will you go put the laundry in the-- Why are there pants hanging from the light fixture?!

Lo and behold there is a pair of shorts hanging from the light fixture. Haha. We still aren't sure how that happened.

My sister, Miranda, called home Friday from school and told my mom that she needed to come pick her up because her head was bleeding. Just as calm as ever.
Miranda- Momma, I got hit in the head in PE and my head is bleeding.
Mom- Umm. Ok.
Miranda- Ok. bye.
Mom- See you soon?

They go to get her and she gets home to explain why her head is bleeding.

Apparently they were playing kick ball and a boy came running her way, fell on her, and bit her in the head.
So, my sister has bite marks on her head. That is the only way I know to explain such an odd situation. Haha

Thanks for reading! Have a great day!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Octopus stew!

                                         Nothing like some yummy octopus stew!
                                           Of course, he eats them heads first hahah. I didn't get to catch him with the legs hanging out of his mouth hahah
If you couldn't tell they are just hot dogs that we cut to have legs haha.

So, today the little boy we babysit, Barrett, was walking around humming.
Mom- Are you humming because you have something in your mouth you don't want us to see?
Barrett- Mhmmm. .
Mom- *holds out hand* Spit it out.
Barrett- *open his mouth and blows out nothing*
Mom- That's not anything. .
Barrett- Mhmmmm.
Mom- Were you sucking on nothing but air. . . ?
Barrett- Mhmmm. Yummm!

Hahahahaha

So, Monday I was working in childcare at my church.
My friend comes up to me and tells me that my brother, Chad, needs me.
He's 12. I really should not have to babysit him. I found him standing on a ladder in the hall. . . with a sign that he and his friend had jumped up and hit and knocked down. This was just not a good day for that. Normally this would not have upset me as much. Any who, They had knocked it down and broken the chain it was hanging by and they couldn't fix it. So, I had them write a note apologizing to the superintendent at our church for breaking the sign. They are scared of him. Really scared. They find him terrifying. The note they wrote said:
Dear Dallas,
    We're sorry we broke the sign. We didn't mean to.
Please don't kill us.

 I almost killed them for writing such silly things. So they re wrote it. Meaning I told them what to write haha.
They wrote the note and put it at the front desk.

The next morning we had to go to the church and pick some books up and my mom ran into Dallas. He said everything was fine and he appreciated the note. So, we came home and told Chad that Dallas got the note.
Chad- What did he say?!

Of course we had to have some fun with this.
Mom- He said it was inexcusable behavior and there will be punishment.
Chad- Oh no. .
Me- I have NEVER seen him so mad. . He was furious. .
Mom- He's gonna make you do 400 push ups in front of the whole church.
Chad- What?! I can't do that!
Mom- Why do you think he chose that punishment?!
Chad- I'm never gonna hit a sign again. .
Me- He'll probably tell the whole church about it. He was so mad. He's so mad I wouldn't be suprised if he hung you up by your toenails and one ear and make you the sign. It's not gonna be pretty. .
(This has been going on for about 30 minutes)
Chad- Oh my gosh. . I am never gonna make it Sunday. . What'll I do?! *almost in tears*
Mom and I bust out laughing!
Mom- Just kidding!!!
Chad- What?!
Mom- You'll never hit that sign again will you?
Chad- No! Never!
lol Thank you Dallas for being so seemingly scary!

These are they funnies of my past week or so. Haha
Thanks for reading! Have a good day

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Don't eat the cheese!

    So there's some good looking, good smelling, delicious looking cheese, but this cheese left the refrigerator several days ago and has gone bad. Even though you can't see it, that cheese is not good for you at all, so don't get involved with the cheese. Don't let the cheese tempt you no matter how good it looks. Even if this cheese seems like it would be the best cheese ever, because it's secretly rotten. Don't let it convince you otherwise. Never let it convince you to go back on your pledge to never eat yucky cheese. ( I say this as an all around thing  because I kinda assume no sane person would say, " Hey, I pledge to eat a piece of rotten cheese at some point in my life.") Don't give yourself away to the cheese because it's just not good for you. The cheese has been out for days. It looks good, but you have your doubts. Don't push them aside. A healthy you is better than a lovely time with a piece of cheese that isn't as delicious and great as it looks.

P.S. This applies to more than cheese.

Thank you for reading!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Demonic and angelic interferences

Whoo. Long week and lovely weekend! Great Halloween.I had a ninja, Rambo, and a ballerina in my house this weekend haha. And a frazzled mom, but according to her it's not just a Halloween costume.
Quote for this weekend- If kitkat were a man I would marry him.

So we have a discipleship training class at my church and we had a i guess "Halloween lesson" on Demonic and angelic interferences. It was reeeally interesting. So, I have decided to share my notes. Here we go!

The bible supports a difference between angels working for Satan and evil spirits. More in December.
Hebrews 13:2
Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.
Angelic abilities- taking on human form, healing, physical touch, etc.
Angel is another word for messenger.
Angels could come down in human form because they want to learn more about us and why God loved us enough to send His son to die for us.
God gets to reveal little pieces of Himself to us for all eternity :)
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
An angel from Satan was sent to Paul as a buffer. God allowed that to keep Paul humbled. God never loses control. He LETS certain things happen.
2 Chronicles 18:18-22
18 Micaiah continued, “Therefore hear the word of the LORD: I saw the LORD sitting on his throne with all the multitudes of heaven standing on his right and on his left. 19 And the LORD said, ‘Who will entice Ahab king of Israel into attacking Ramoth Gilead and going to his death there?’“One suggested this, and another that. 20 Finally, a spirit came forward, stood before the LORD and said, ‘I will entice him.’“‘By what means?’ the LORD asked. 21 “‘I will go and be a deceiving spirit in the mouths of all his prophets,’ he said.“‘You will succeed in enticing him,’ said the LORD. ‘Go and do it.’22 “So now the LORD has put a deceiving spirit in the mouths of these prophets of yours. The LORD has decreed disaster for you.”
Interactions of evil and good spirits and angels.
Mr. Andy's thinking question- What kind of angel was this?
Job 1:6-12, 2:1-7
6 One day the angels[a] came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan[b] also came with them. 7 The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”
Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”
8 Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.”
9 “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. 10 “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. 11 But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”
12 The LORD said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your power, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.”
Then Satan went out from the presence of the LORD.
2:1-7
1 On another day the angels[a] came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them to present himself before him. 2 And the LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?”
Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.”
3 Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.”
4 “Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life. 5 But now stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.”
6 The LORD said to Satan, “Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life.”
7 So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head.
Sons of God does refer to the angels.
All angels have the ability to take our health or come to us physically or mentally. Even battle over us.
Daniel 10:12-13, 20-21
12 Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. 13 But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia.
20-21
20 So he said, “Do you know why I have come to you? Soon I will return to fight against the prince of Persia, and when I go, the prince of Greece will come; 21 but first I will tell you what is written in the Book of Truth. (No one supports me against them except Michael, your prince.
There are different ranks of angels.
It took three weeks to battle the Prince of Persia.
Andy's thinking question- Ever wonder why your prayers aren't being answered? There is more going on than we see.
Genesis 18:1-33, 32:24-32
1 The LORD appeared to Abraham near the great trees of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance to his tent in the heat of the day. 2 Abraham looked up and saw three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he hurried from the entrance of his tent to meet them and bowed low to the ground.
3 He said, “If I have found favor in your eyes, my lord,[a] do not pass your servant by. 4 Let a little water be brought, and then you may all wash your feet and rest under this tree. 5 Let me get you something to eat, so you can be refreshed and then go on your way—now that you have come to your servant.”
“Very well,” they answered, “do as you say.”
6 So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. “Quick,” he said, “get three seahs[b] of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread.”
7 Then he ran to the herd and selected a choice, tender calf and gave it to a servant, who hurried to prepare it. 8 He then brought some curds and milk and the calf that had been prepared, and set these before them. While they ate, he stood near them under a tree.
9 “Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him.
“There, in the tent,” he said.
10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”
Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”
13 Then the LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the LORD? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”
15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”
But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”
Abraham Pleads for Sodom
16 When the men got up to leave, they looked down toward Sodom, and Abraham walked along with them to see them on their way. 17 Then the LORD said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do? 18 Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him.[c] 19 For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
20 Then the LORD said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”
22 The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD.[d] 23 Then Abraham approached him and said: “Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? 24 What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare[e] the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? 25 Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?”
26 The LORD said, “If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”
27 Then Abraham spoke up again: “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes, 28 what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city for lack of five people?”
“If I find forty-five there,” he said, “I will not destroy it.”
29 Once again he spoke to him, “What if only forty are found there?”
He said, “For the sake of forty, I will not do it.”
30 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?”
He answered, “I will not do it if I find thirty there.”
31 Abraham said, “Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?” He said, “For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it.”
32 Then he said, “May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?”
He answered, “For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it.”
33 When the LORD had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.
32:24-32
24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.
28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
29 Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
30 So Jacob called the place Peniel,[b] saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
31 The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel,[c] and he was limping because of his hip. 32 Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon.
God incarnate comes. Two leave for Gamorah. The one referred to as Lord stays.
Jacob wrestles with God.
Angels have had mental, spiritual, and physical interaction.
To deny these things is to deny part of the Bible.
Andy's thinking question- If angels have their own physical form why would they need to move into someone to exist?

Hope that makes sense and things connect and the notes are right. Please feel free to comment and ask questions. I'm sure any comments and questions are helpful. Not only for you and others but me. It helps me put even more thought into it. Thanks for reading. I know it was a lot of reading haha, but it's very interesting.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Today and my weekend

Sunday morning:
I walk in my parents' bathroom to find my brother standing in there looking at his bottom in the mirror and blow drying it. .
I turned around and walked out.
I came back in a few minutes later and he says, "I sat on a wet wash cloth. It's dry now."
And we continue on with what we were doing.

Oh! So he's 12 and he got his first pimple today! He won't let anyone look at it and as I sit here and type he is covering his nose and won't let my mom look at it.
Him- No! Don't look!
Mom- Lemme look at it or I'll sit on top of you and pop it off!
She won and is now looking at his nose and they both look retarded.

So, we babysit this 2 year old on weekdays.
I just painted my nails BRIGHT GREEN yesterday and he was holding my hand today and he saw my nails. He spent like 5 minutes trying to figure out how to get the green off my nails and almost peeled my nails off in the process. .  poor child. Haha

I'm kind of a clumsy person. Or so people say. . I tried to get up this weekend and and fell while I was still sitting. Apparently no one at the party had ever seen anyone do that , so it was kind of like I did the impossible. Haha Riiight.

Oh. And the quote for this past weekend is- "I have a major plywood wedgie right now."
I'm not gonna even try to explain that scenario. Just try to imagine it yourself. Haha Funny isn't it?

Haha and these have been the events of my weekend and what has happened today. haha it's so intersting living with the people I live with.

Friday, October 22, 2010

NOTE TO SELF

NOTE TO SELF:

DON'T TRY TO SAY AND DO INTELLIGENT THINGS WHILE WEARING UNDERWEAR ON YOUR HEAD. FOR SOME REASON PEOPLE DON'T FIND YOU THAT INTELLIGENT.

YES. IT HAS BEEN A VERY INTERESTING DAY.

P.S. HAPPY NATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

Dingleberry brothers

Mom- You should marry a girl who is always cold so you can keep her warm!
Me- You can marry someone like me!
My brother- I can marry someone like Mrs. Tonia. (a very nice lady at our church)
Me- You can marry someone like me *insert cheesy smile*
My brother- Someone like Mrs. Tonia.
Me- Why not someone like me?!
My brother- *whispers* Because you're kinda crazy. . *swirls crazy curly Qs by his ear.

You have now been introduced to my brother, Chad.

Today in the car:

Mom- Your brothers are just dingleberries!
My sister- Yep. They are just dingerbellies.
Mom- Dingerbellies?! They have bells on their tummies?!
My sister- Now they do!

And now you are introduced to my silly sister, Miranda, and my mommy, Christi.

This is the end of my post. Thank you for reading! :)
Omw my brother just did the wave with his belly. In my face!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Mom's argument with the wii fit

Mom- Let's see how I'm doing. . . . .
*brrrrring! Ding!*
-What?! Two pounds! You are wrong. .(in imitation squeaky voice) Oh. .  looks like you didn't reach your goal. . wah wah wah wah wah. . . .
*cutting off wii fit*
Shut up. I am so done with you. We're though. Hmph!

Hahaha Oh mother!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

First blog

I just got my first blog and have not the first clue how to use it. But fear not. I will eventually get the hang of it.